Okay, you know how I said I love wasting time poking through my old stuff? I did it again (sorry, folks! 😉 ). And came up with this relic. It’s a humorous portrayal of a core sentiment I wanted to communicate. It was in an essay-writing phase I went through not too long ago, and I was experimenting with writing in the present tense… and no dialogue. 🙂

Meet Joe Coffee.  He’s a pretty average fellow.  He drives a beat-up diesel truck that couldn’t buy a case of beer if he sold it.  He wouldn’t sell it though.  It’s all he can afford to have.  He drives it as far as it will go, all the way to Jack-In-The-Box, which is where he works.  He usually has to jump it before he leaves, and it eats more gas than Joe’s customers eat burgers.  Joe doesn’t care.  It gets him where he needs to go, just like his daily cup of Joe.

Meet Tee Green.  He owns a shop called the Greenery across the street from Jack-In-The-Box.  He used to have an electric car, but decided even that was too bad for the environment, so now he bikes six miles to work every morning.  It’s all made out of recycled parts and looks like Frankenstein’s Bike.  He doesn’t care.  He’s being “green”.  Customers shopping at the Greenery know what being green is all about.  Tee sells all kinds of food for health-nuts as well as a whole array of different patented “Tee Green Herbal Teas”.  Everything in the Greenery is built out of odd items blended up and formed into new things, even the floorboards and the eco-green paint. All his customers, being the same type of people as Tee, compliment him for his creatively green shop.  They bag their items in floppy compostable bags and step out the recycled door as the old cow bell rings goodbye.  When the day is over, Tee bikes home for his evening mug of tea.

It’s early, and Joe Coffee doesn’t want to be late for work.  Many of the opening customers at Jack-In-The-Box are stopping for breakfast on their own way to work.  They don’t want to be late either.  His neighbor jumped his truck for him.  It didn’t start this morning, but then, it doesn’t usually start well in the morning, especially in such chilly October weather.  Downing his cup of black coffee, Joe leaps in, revs the engine and takes off.  This morning is a little different from most mornings, though.  His truck dies two miles from work.  Stuck on the side of the road, Joe prods at his truck underneath the hood and from below, wondering if he’ll have to walk the rest of the way to work.

The wind is brisk today, so Tee Green puts on his warmest sweater woven from natural fibers and buttoned with buttons made from what had once been tin cans.  He hops on his Frankenbike and begins the long haul to the Greenery.  Halfway there, he almost crashes into some dude’s truck parked annoyingly in the middle of the shoulder.  Tee moves to go around it when he spies a pair of legs protruding from under the vehicle.  Stopping his bike, he decides to find out what’s wrong.

Joe Coffee extricates himself when the bicyclist asks him what happened to the jalopy.  Joe explains to Tee Green that his truck has broken down and is in major need of repair.  Tee takes one look at the truck and offers to buy it to recycle into use in his shop.  Joe tells Tee that he couldn’t name a big enough price that was reasonable and would still satisfy him.  Tee shrugs and names a large number, suggesting that Joe buy a bicycle and bike to work.  Joe says he’ll think about it, and Tee invites him to come and shop at the Greenery.  Tee gives Joe his contact information and rides off.  Joe walks to work, leaving his truck on the side of the road.  When he comes back after work, his truck is still there, and he’s made up his mind.  He calls Tee and tells him he’s ready to sell. 

Tee buys the truck and Joe buys a bike.  They go out for a coffee together and even Tee drank some.  He mixes it with a cup of his Tee Green Salty Carmel Tea.  Joe tries the concoction too, and both are hooked.  The Greenery now features Cup of Joe Coffee Beans in the Tee Green Tea aisle.  Joe shops regularly at the Greenery after he bikes to work.  Tee drinks coffee in his tea every day, and occasionally arrives at work riding a motorcycle, made from secondhand parts.  He and Joe are good friends, and agree that, whether “being green” or being cheap, both deserve moderation.  Just don’t get them started on where to draw the line for it, or they’ll be arguing until tomorrow has come and gone.

Are you more like Joe or Tee?

I’m Joe. Totally Joe. Except I don’t like coffee. 🙂

~ Kat

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