A lot of times I feel guilty writing about myself here. But I suppose since it’s my blog I’m allowed to write about me and not just my writing. 🙂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this moment with you.

delicately beautiful design

Today was one of those rare days where I felt… beautiful. No just physically good-looking, but at peace with myself inside, that I was someone who loved and was able to be loved. I was something unique to offer, handcrafted and loved by God; I felt beautiful. In a way, in that spot we strive to reach where you is just fine. It doesn’t matter in these moments what other people expect from you or being what you’re supposed to be or doing or acting the way you’re supposed to do or act. You’re just you, and that’s okay. I felt relaxed, and when I looked in the mirror I could see the difference in my eyes. I could see the peace, the at-ease-with-my-world look, and my smile was real and unstrained.

You’re sins were red as scarlet

But now they’re washed away

The love and faith you’ve shown

Is all the price you have to pay

For the depth of God’s forgiveness

It’s deeper than the sea

And in spite of what the world may think

You’re beautiful to Me

Beautiful To Me, by Don Francisco

After a stressful, disastrous, very bad day yesterday. After a post to you guys about what I needed to hear and what I hoped one of you might have needed to hear, too. After what felt like an eternity of struggle when I’d forgotten that these moments existed.

This moment is golden. Precious. I want to glue myself in this space forever, but moments like this don’t work like that. I’ll change and grow. I’ll feel awkward and alone and rattle in the shoes I’m striving to fill. I’ll hate myself. I’ll seesaw from denial to faith, from hiding from myself to stepping out into the unknown. I’ll feel despicable and depressed and dirty. But I’ll grow into the shoes. They’ll fit comfortably, and I’ll breathe deep and savor the moment as I say, “This feels so amazing!”

This moment. Here, now. It’s precious. Because I needed it, but didn’t know.

It’s sometimes always shaking to me when I do what I feel compelled/led to do something and then things happen. I get a sense or feeling of an idea, like “you know, that was what you really needed to hear. Maybe someone else really needs to hear it too. Oh, I’ll tell the blog”. Sad to say, I don’t always follow up on the feeling. I’m too busy, I let myself forget, I feel foolish, I can’t think of a way to say it without sounding out of the blue… and I don’t. But there are times like this. When I actually did something that I felt compelled to do, hope it touched someone, and closed the door. And me of little faith, writing to encourage you even as I felt like I was drowning, wrote “…little realizing that the waves that threatened you are stilling in obedience to His voice, and the peace and comfort that soothe you are His.”… And me of little faith, was blown off my feet when He worked a miracle in my heart and gave me peace. I’m a slow learner. But I’ll hold this moment.

Here we are, on top of the stars

Never thought we’d ever get this far

We live for moments like this

We come alive in moments like this

Moments Like This, by The Afters

~ Kat